Tuesday, December 15, 2009

The Smuggening

Well, I have a lot to say. Most of it inappropriate and cloying. Along the lines of 'last night we were watching tv, just holding hands and he said the cutest thing...'

But I am well aware that's the most annoying line of conversation in the world.

Adjusting to being a Smug from a Haversham has been remarkably easy. We went through the Stages of Early Coupling:

Meeting.--> Not sure.--> Great conversation.--> Getting sure.--> First date.--> Getting surer.--> Second date.--> Pretty damn sure.--> Third date.--> Sure.--> Lose count of dates, gain greater certainty.--> Staying the weekends.--> Not seeing anyone else barr each other for about 2 months during which time other firsts happen, first vomit/fart/nose pick etc in front of each other. Actually, the nose pick thing still hasn't happened. But you'll be pleased and disgusted to know I broke the seal on the other two things.--> Introductions to friends.--> Introductions to family.--> Uncertainty about whether everyone likes you.--> Having Serious Talks.--> Asking me to move in.--> Moving in.--> More Serious Talks.--> Making future plans.--> Squealing with Mother about future plans.--> Leaving brochures from jewellers around the house.--> Thus End the Early Coupling Phase.--> Stay tuned for 'Late Early Coupling Phase'.

Currently I am just about to enter the 'leaving brochures' phase. I like to be subtle. And Klassy. That's right, you saw the capital K. That's me.

I don't know, when I think realistically about it, there's nothing I would rather *not* do more. That sort of thing means I have to get serious about getting thin again. And then I have to be ok with forking out obscene amounts of money to people and places I'd really rather not employ or go to. Photographers? Hair? Makeup which quite frankly, I look at and think 'I'd have been happier doing it myself'? I hate that crap.

But what is it about the thought of having that Big Day that still sets most girls' stupidity factors soaring? I never really had to think about it before, it's always been very abstract. I know I'll end up being a 'zilla demanding bigger and better things. But is it what's important?

Hmm. I don't have the answer for that. But I can say, these are pleasant problems to be consumed with. I'm not complaining by any stretch, but some days I look around the townhouse we share, and all my things here and all the couples stuff we do now and wonder - 'how did this happen to me?'.

I was all set to be a nosey old Haversham, stealing stem cells from placenta to keep my evil powers growing and complaining about neighbours and their pets.

I'm freaking lucky, that's for sure.

Sorry for the girl post. So that's where I'm at right now. Being a girl who is worried about being fat. The more things change - the more they stay the same, right?

8 comments:

  1. Plus ca change, plus ca meme! I watch a ridiculous about of "Say Yes to the Dress" on TLC for someone with no wedding even in the distant horizon. And I know I said it in the last comment, but I'm so happy for you!

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  2. Speaking of wedding tv shows, I've watched that My Fair Wedding with David Tutera--Hey, don't judge! Nothing good comes on during that time late at night. And that dude does a damn good job of giving those brides the wedding they wanted. That dude is awesome! Everyone's happy.

    Anyway, congratulations on finding domestic bliss. Enjoy it.

    And if somewhere down the line you do find yourself betrothed, remember, it's your wedding. It should be about the two of you because that's all that really matters.

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  3. Exciting times - yay for you!!

    In other news - please pass the stem cells.

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  4. Oh my gods! I'm at the same stage - Although, it'll be SP doing the 'brochure leaving' as I'm the 'man' when it comes to The Big Day (and the DIY), I'm The Little Woman in everything else.

    Still, I'm thrilled for you both. THRILLED!

    * huffs as Tim has hogged all the stem cells *

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  5. Apologies but I can't get past the imagery of IVD's "I'm the Little Woman" comment.

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  6. Dinah - we don't get that here but I wish we did. Instead I am watching a lot of 'Married Away'. Which is cool. And of course, Bridezillas. There's a new one coming out soon called about four brides with different wedding and when they have them, they each rate each other to get a free honeymoon. Great viewing, by the looks of it, but I also can't wait to see Jersey Shore. Make of that what you will!

    Eros - that's another one I need to watch now! That sounds awesome, although can you imagine what a planner like that would cost? Insane. Well, we've talked about it a little, and I think it's a bit down the track. Unfortunately bills and two mortgages get in the way of pleasant day dreams like planners and frou.

    Tim: Playas are substantially different from Havershams, but require stem cells to retain their young and studly appearance. So the question remains - Playa or Haversham? Or perhaps Dorian Grey?!

    IDV: Sometimes being the little woman is awesome fun. Other times, not so much, eh? I'd like to think we are left with those important jobs like DIY and Big Events because we have the *ahem* taste and inclination.

    MJ: Did it just confirm your bottom suspicions? Or have the houseboys been indulging in randy gossip again?

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  7. Playa or Haversham … Um, what was the question again? I've been momentarily incapacitated by that brief glimpse into IDV's private life.

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  8. I say, let him see it all while everything you do is cute and he floats on a pink cloud.

    As long as you both keep the loo door closed. Nobody deserves to see that!

    I can't say I blame you for thinking wedding and all that but the most important thing is not the dress or the cake. It's the ring dear. Envision the ring, feel the ring. Smell the ring and wear the ring.

    PS I'm so happy for you and all your Smuggening

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